Each day presents an opportunity to learn—sometimes consciously, other times unconsciously. We make decisions at work and at home.
Sometimes they go well; sometimes they do not. With each experience, we adjust and improve.
These are the unconscious learning moments. But how often do we intentionally seek out learning experiences?
Conscious learning opportunities often come when we seek out the help of others or from intentionally watching others navigate decisions at work, home, church, or play.
Those we repeatedly seek to learn from often become mentors.
The definition of mentor as a noun is “an experienced or trusted advisor”.¹ The definition of mentor as a verb is “to advise or train”.¹
Mentorship can come through both positive and negative experiences, which occur daily whether intentionally or unintentionally.
I vividly remember one corrective mentorship experience in the summer after sixth grade at my first farming job.
I took a week off work to go on a family vacation.
When I returned to work on Monday, John, the farmer I worked for, came to meet me as I parked my car.
As I got out, he began talking to me firmly: “Where have you been? We have lots of farming to do! You have been gone a week, and I didn’t know you would be gone a week!” (His words were a bit more colorful than that.)
I reminded him that we had talked about me being gone.
However, I found out that my communication had not been clear, and he thought I was only going to be gone for the weekend, not a whole week.
He immediately sent me home to get a list of days I needed off work for the summer so we could avoid another miscommunication.
I learned that my communication was inadequate from that mentorship moment.
It was a bit negative, but I promise I never took another day off without complete clarity!
Instead of being upset or blaming John, I accepted responsibility and learned from the teachable moment.
The lesson on communication has stuck with me since, even if the moment didn’t stand out to John.
Over my 48 years of life so far, I have had many valuable mentors and coaches, including John and two other farmers I worked for, veterinarians, business folks, bankers, accountants, feedyard managers, feedyard owners, leadership coaching clients, and more.
Some of you reading this may have been a mentor or coach to me.
Some have known they were mentors of mine, while others likely did not realize I viewed them as mentors as I simply watched and learned from them.
I now have a handful of mentors and coaches whom I can rely on and trust deeply for sound advice in situations of need in life, business,
leadership, marriage, parenting, spirituality, and finances.
I can call them anytime, and they will answer. These mentors that have turned into my personal board of directors.
One early morning, driving down the road to a feedyard, I was speaking to my colleague, Dr. Doug. As usual, our conversation had progressed from veterinary production medicine to life.
Dr. Doug began to talk about egos and the dangers of having and expressing our egos.
As he talked, I began to think about my ego and how it had grown.
Dr. Doug then told me in a kind yet honest way that I needed to work on checking my ego.
I had a choice: reject his feedback or receive it with an open heart. I chose the latter.
That is what mentorship requires—humility, a willingness to grow, and the courage to accept coaching from people who genuinely want the best for us.
I have never told my mentors and coaches that they are my personal board of directors, but they are.
They are a very sincere, trusted group of people that I know will tell me “No”, that will point out bad ideas, that will tell me if I am headed in the wrong direction, and that will push me harder when needed.
My personal board of directors is not made up of “yes” people.
They are people that have the courage to tell me the truth from their perspective and wisdom, even if it hurts.
They will challenge my thought processes. They will urge me to push forward in seasons of growth.
They will play devil’s advocate and help me think through all angles of an issue.
They tell me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I need them for me and my family to be the best versions of ourselves possible. I can’t go it alone.
We all need a personal board of directors. We all need people to be honest with us as we walk through life.
Few people will be truly invested in helping you reach your full potential.
Who are those people in your life – your personal board of directors? They are the people you trust and reach out to for help.
If you do not have those people in your life, find them! If you do, thank them for their honesty and for helping you to achieve the greatest version of yourself!
1 Oxford Languages
Dr. Nels Lindberg is a people coach, team coach, business coach, and keynote speaker, available virtually or in person. If you have any interest in these opportunities, please reach out to his office at 620-792-1265 and visit with his right-hand lady, Jill.
Get all Doc Talk episodes straight to your email inbox!
Notifications
